Long-lasting love is made of the little things we do every day

Woman and man sitting on a sofa while having a marital conflict
Woman and man sitting on a sofa while having a marital conflict
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

“What do you love about me?” I asked my husband the other day. A silly question, I know, but I like to ask it every few months. I love seeing how the response evolves.

When my husband replied, two things stood out:

  • “I love that you know how to prepare my coffee.”

My initial reaction was: Really? He loves me because I ask him questions and prepare him coffee?

But then, I remembered what I read in John Gottman’s famous book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work…

According to a brain-health expert, this is the way to perform “whole-brain combination workouts”.

Little girl solving a rubric’s cube and exercising her brain
Little girl solving a rubric’s cube and exercising her brain
Photo by Gabby K from Pexels

A decade ago, my father-in-law had a brain stroke. One day he was a gentle husband and father; the next, he changed. Though he survived — nothing short of a miracle — the region of his brain responsible for empathy was permanently damaged.

His gentleness disappeared.

When I met my husband, his father had already changed. To me, he seemed normal, albeit a bit cranky. But my husband insisted: His father — the father who’d raised him — was gone.

Now every time I meet with my father-in-law, I’m faced with a powerful reminder: We need healthy brains. …

Not the typical “meditate, exercise, and be grateful” list.

A funny, happy avocado stuffed toy
A funny, happy avocado stuffed toy
Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash

I’m tired of re-reading the same tips over and over on how to be happy. We all know we should meditate, exercise regularly, sleep better, and practice gratefulness.

But isn’t there something else? Something just as scientifically-proven, yet less-known?

As someone who’s always been fascinated with happiness, I set out to find an answer. And though most of the following tips can be considered weird, they have research that backs their effect on happiness.

#1. Listen to sad music.

I used to believe I was a masochist because I put depressing songs on repeat after a bad day.

I was wrong.

According to a 2014…

Be bold.

Black and white dartboard
Black and white dartboard
Photo taken by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

“Don’t be ridiculous,” my stepmother told my father as we were waiting to check in our baggage at the airport.

My father rolled his eyes. “I’m not being ridiculous. You know they’re not going to give us a free upgrade. You’ve already tried.”

My stepmother arched an eyebrow. “So?”

“No one gives anything for free.”

“Watch me.” My stepmother, probably one of the boldest people I know, fixed her red lipstick, extracted her passport and marched to the check-in counter. With a blinding smile and abundant gesticulation, she spoke with the check-in officer while pointing in our direction.

Cheeks red…

That can make you more than four figures per month

Photo of woman wearing a yellow shirt and asking an audience to keep a secret
Photo of woman wearing a yellow shirt and asking an audience to keep a secret
Photo taken by Sound On from Pexels

One thing I’ve learned after trying more than six side-hustles in 3 years is that finding the right fit is crucial for success.

On my first attempt, I created an online print-on-demand t-shirt store and sold zero products in 4 months (that hurt). Based on solid advice found on this platform, I should’ve remained consistent, learned from my failure, and pivoted until I found the right product and right niche to have a successful online store.

The problem? I didn’t want to.

Working on my online store felt like a dementor was sucking the life out of me. Moreover, since…

Learning these three skills can help you win at life — and relationships

Happy couple reading an ebook with their computer
Happy couple reading an ebook with their computer
Photo taken by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

One thing all relationship experts agree on is that good communication skills are a must for good relationships.

If you lose your temper when you argue with your partner, if you find it hard to reach a compromise that satisfies both you and your significant other, or if you feel that your partner isn’t open to your ideas, you are at risk of growing apart. Without good communication, discussions become resentment — and resentment kills relationships.

Those who learn how to master charm, how to listen, and persuasion, then, tend to be excellent long-term partners.

To that end, I’ve selected…

Here’s what he did wrong so that you can avoid a similar fate.

Twitch logo
Twitch logo
Source: Flickr

Ever dream of becoming a multi-millionaire and reaching financial freedom in your early thirties?

You’re not alone.

We live in a world where we value achievements and monetary status above everything. From a young age, we believe that if we reach a certain financial threshold or create a thriving business, we’ll finally be happy. In the Western world, we often equate success with happiness.

But this is a fatal mistake — one Justin Kan, one of Twitch’s founders, learned the hard way.

“When I was 31,” he says in a recent YouTube video, “we sold Twitch for a billion dollars…

Don’t put up with partners who suck the life out of you

Photo taken by Roy Reyna from Pexels

My first long-term relationship sucked.

Instead of experiencing puppy love and going out to eat ice cream, I went to sleep crying every night. I was devastated. The boy I “loved” often broke his promises and made me feel like my neediness was the problem. He even broke up with me once because I dared suggest he was gaslighting me.

Present-day me would’ve shoved him the middle finger and walked away, but younger-me begged him to take me back. Back then, leaving him felt like the end of the world.

What if he is my only chance at love? What…

Ready to have a blissful night?

Kitten sleeping happily while lying on a surface
Kitten sleeping happily while lying on a surface
Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

Fun fact: According to Dr. Michael Mosley, bestselling author of Fast Asleep: How To Get a Good Night’s Rest, the easiest and fastest way to know if you are getting enough sleep is to do the Spoon Test:

On any given day, skip your usual morning coffee or tea. Between 1 pm and 3 pm, head to your bedroom with a metal spoon and metal tray, close the curtains, place the metal tray beside the bed, check the time, and hang your arm over the same side of the bed where you put the tray, clutching the spoon. …

And that can help you avoid needless heartbreak

Enlightened woman looking at the camera
Enlightened woman looking at the camera
Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels

After I published “7 Eye-Opening Lessons About Love That Could’ve Saved Me Lots of Pain”, many readers reached out to show their appreciation. As I’d hoped, some of the lessons I shared were helpful.

That got my helping brain thinking: What else have I learned about worthwhile love that could help others avoid needless heartbreak?

After two months of inner reflection, I concluded that these five lessons are what I would’ve also loved to know sooner.

Own Your Mistakes

A quick Google search will lead you to thousands of articles about toxic partners. …

Alexa V.S.

Certified INFJ. Travel enthusiast. Fellow writer. English teacher. Business Consultant. Fantasy lover.

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