What I Wish I Knew About COVID-19

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

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Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

The Good

Compared to other people, my experience with COVID-19 was good.

  1. Attention. Once word got out that I was sick, family, friends, neighbors, and even people I hadn’t spoken with in years contacted me. In the two weeks I was ill, I chatted with more people than in the rest of 2020. To be fair, that doesn’t sound impressive. 2020 is… well, 2020.
  2. Close network. Though I was with my mother and grandmother two days before the start of my “digestive issues”, they didn’t get sick. Though I spent an afternoon with two friends the day before my symptoms appeared, none were infected. And because I work from home, none of my colleagues or clients were at risk. Only my boyfriend shared my fate.

The Bad

COVID-19 is not the flu.

  1. Attention. When I called to postpone the appointments I had, people freaked out. They changed the dates for two months later just in case and repeatedly begged me not to go if I was sick. Though I imagine they must have reasons to behave in such a way, they were brusque, unfriendly. I felt like a cockroach. The flu doesn’t make you feel that way.
  2. Close network. I infected my boyfriend. He never gets sick. Never.

The Ugly

What I wish I knew about COVID-19: the uncertainty.

  1. Attention. Everyone who wrote to me asked the same question: Where did you get COVID-19? My answer was always the same: I don’t know. I don’t. Did I use the wrong face mask? Did I clean my hands enough? When outside, was there enough distance between other people and me? I don’t know.
  2. Close network. Though I can sleep now knowing my friends, mother, and grandmother are alright, I was restless the first days my symptoms appeared. Guilt and worry rattled my bones. If my grandmother got sick, would she die? Would it be my fault? What about my mother? My friends? Are they alright? For many days, the answer to those questions was — you guessed it — I don’t know.

Written by

Certified INFJ. Travel enthusiast. Fellow writer. English teacher. Business Consultant. Fantasy lover.

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